Our Love Shouldn’t Be a Debate

When I married my wife, Kate, earlier this year, it was the happiest day of my life. We stood next to each other and promised to love, respect, and be partners for a lifetime.

And when we said “I do,” I didn’t have to wonder whether our marriage would be recognized in Colorado or when we traveled across state lines to visit family because marriage equality has been the law of the land in the U.S. for a decade. We are simply two women in love, exercising the same right everyone else has.

That’s why the recent news that the Supreme Court is being asked to overturn the landmark ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges that guaranteed marriage equality nationwide hit me like a punch in the gut. I read the headline twice, hoping I’d misread it the first time. I hadn’t.

It’s hard to explain how it feels to see something so personal, the most important relationship in your life, treated like a political chess piece. Kate and I haven’t even been married a year, and already, there’s a question mark hanging over our future.

The legal arguments and court processes will play out over months or years, but the harm has already begun. Already, couples like us are wondering if their marriages will be upheld, parents are worrying whether they’ll both be recognized on their child’s birth certificate, and LGBTQ+ people are questioning if their love will once again be relegated to “second-class” status.

For me, this fight is deeply personal. Currently, same-sex marriage would remain legal in Colorado and a handful of other states even if the Obergefell ruling is overturned. But that isn’t guaranteed without the Supreme Court ruling, and worse still, bans in the majority of states would go back into effect.

I don’t just work for Rocky Mountain Equality because I believe in LGBTQ+ rights. I work here because I believe in creating a world where no one has to question whether their love, their identity, or their right to exist is valid in the eyes of the law. But I’ve seen what happens when people refuse to be pushed backward. We’ve been here before. Whether it’s fighting anti-trans legislation, defending access to healthcare, or challenging discrimination in our schools, we know how to stand together.

To anyone feeling scared right now: you’re not alone. We will keep showing up for you. Kate and I are still making plans for our future—the hikes we’ll take, the books we’ll read, the anniversaries we’ll celebrate. And no matter what happens next, we know our love isn’t up for debate. No one’s should be.

Love always deserves a place in this country, and we’re not going anywhere.